The bloke who took my ladder left a prezzie attached to my front door that looked for all the world like a medieval curse. It looked like the sort of thing you’d affix to the door of the village hag. Upon closer inspection it turned out not to be wolfsbane or hemlock but ordinary old rosemary, thyme and mint. Perhaps he was on his way to Scarborough Fair!
The last one emailed wanting to take my old camera on a pilgrimage to India with his son, and I was all $##!! why can’t hippies just say ‘holiday’ like normal people. Idiots. Anyway, he also said he was going to donate the camera after his trip to a good cause so I hawed a bit and decided to give it to him.
A few dozen texts and emails more ensued, and we arranged to meet at some peculiar and inconvenient time like 4pm on a Tuesday. A hasty bike home and I was chuckling away, imagining the dreadlocky stale dope smokey horror awaiting me.
Would you believe the chap was Indian, and was going on an ACTUAL PILGRIMAGE. He was SO NICE.