End of an era

I’m a bit bummed actually. I ventured outside last night to pluck some stockings off the line, and what do you suppose I found – the neighbours have cut down their giant fig tree!

When I say ‘their fig tree’, I actually mean ‘my fig tree’. The only difference being the broken-down fence separating the tree from my fond embrace, but you say ‘fig’, and I say ‘FIGG’.

What sort of person would cut down a flourishing fig tree? A tree that does nothing but offer a juicy harvest and plentiful shade? A tree that gives not only to its owners, but to its neighbours and the people passing by in the back lane? A tree that provides a home and a dining table to leather-skinned bats and rainbow lorikeets?

I don’t mean to overstate things, but it’s the sort of person who has no soul. It’s like cutting down a bodhi tree, a baobab or one of those trees they obsess over in Thailand and tie bits of coloured string to.

The fig tree is, or was, a major feature of my house, you know. Who cares about a north-facing whatsit or a plum-coloured feature wall with turquoise accents? The fig tree brought its own beauty to my rather run-down yet filled with character house.

What about Figgtacular? I had only been talking about it for about two years before I actually had one. Does this mean the end of Figgtacular 09? I had already written the lyrics for the invite! Costumes! Special effects! Music selected! I WAS GOING TO MAKE MY ENTRANCE ON A DONKEY.

My dreams are all shattered – and the backyard is bare.

In other news, I had the most fabulous dream about Andre Rieu last night. He was about 6ft 8, and took me for a dazzling waltz across a garden; we pirouetted, we leapt like fauns, we grand jêté-ed, we pranced. It was brilliant.

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12 thoughts on “End of an era

  1. My husband’s tribe, the Kikuyu, traditionally hold the fig tree to be sacred.The British in Kenya went around cutting down as many of the fig trees as possible to demoralise and break the spirit of the Kikuyus.It sort of back-fired, though. Ever heard of the Mau-Mau?Maybe your neighbours are Brits.

  2. BBBJ,And there is an old Jewish saying:A tree needlessly harmed cries out to heaven – and its voice is always heard.You might be wise to stay a safe distance from your soul-less neighbours for a while. Boo mustn’t be hit by any stray lightening bolts, eh?

  3. It is very bad to cut down a fig tree. In fact it is thahu (taboo). Believe me, if a person can destroy nature like that, that is a man who died long time ago. He is brain dead. It is just a figure of a person walking, but there is nobody there. A fig tree is where, in my country, before people could even know what is a church, to go to pray God, it is where people used to go under the tree, sacrifice a goat or any kind of sacrifice and, believe me, the prayers were being accepted by God.For even before they have left from that tree, there could be thunder storms. When they get home, it could rain heavily and people start planting their crops. So that kind of a person who cut a fig tree, he is really back to the stone age, but forgive him for he does not know what he is doing. Very sorry for your bad heart felt

  4. WTH!!!???!!!I had never even eaten a fig before figtacular! I had put next years figtacular in the diary already. And since I didn’t know when it would be, I put on on EVERY DAY!Sheet, let’s lynch them.Oh the bats! Oh the humanity!I need a vodka…

  5. Vallejo, California. My boyfriend sold his home, was moving his things to his new home, when he returned after the weekend to find his backyard neighbor had cut down ALL of their mutual brush which had made a ‘fence’. The brush was about 12 foot tall, flowered twice a year and beautiful.Pat sank to his knees and started screaming. Good thing the neighbor hid from him, as I fear he would have killed her. Cost him plenty of money to build a wooden fence, which peeved him all the more. The neighbor accepted a dead tree fence, but killed the live beautiful one.sheesh. some people don’t have to work at being idiots. They had to of been born that way.

  6. Oh Boo…I’m so sorry to hear that your lovely fig tree was chopped down. Figs are great fruit and it is difficult to get good fresh figs. I know it would not be the same, but is there a space to plant a fig tree in your backyard?

  7. When horrible people do horrible dumb things, I like to think there is really a HELL, and in it, an especially bad part reserved just for them.A section where they are kicked bitten and scratched for all eternity, by every animal who had endured cruelty on earth.Pecked by every homeless bird bat and possum.and where they dream fruitlessly of the taste of sweet warm ripe figa pox on ’em.I can help devise ways to get vicious but legal undetected revenge on those perpetrators if you would like it.

  8. i join in the chorus against the felling of the mighty fig tree, but boo, i want to know more about yur dream. and do you yet have the cd of andre’s interpretations of australian music?-mk

  9. Oh, for shame! Cutting down any tree breaks my heart, but a fig is so glorious and mighty. What petty people.They obviously just don’t give a fig! (sry)And then the comment above about the living, flowering fence. It about breaks my heart! Life would be hideous without trees and birds. AND bats (ooh, they’re so cute)!And life would, all too often, be much better without neighbours! Mine are driving me nuts (waking me up most nights and then, this weekend, kidnapping my newspaper for a day)!What foul deed will ‘evil neighbours’ think of next!!! (Hey, is that a tv series already…?)

  10. boo – terrible news.please accept my condolences and the knowledge that you can have first pick of our figs when they ripen….not that that will help with the shade but….i just saw a rather lovely life size bronze palm tree on smith st – would that fill the space?

  11. ah thank you all for your commiserations – let me assure you the neighbours are, and have always been B.O.G.A.N.S. of the worst kind – they run the telly 24hrs a day, their kids roll up at 2am on Mondays with the techno on their car stereos loud enough to hear in Northcote, the mum is outside with a fag every morning….the fig debacle does not surprise me.My housemate and I are waiting for the concrete mixer to roll up to cover their new backyard!! Far more low-maintenance. Easier to stub out the fags.I keep running outside like a puppy, just to check that it’s all for real.MK – do you not have dancing dreams? I do occasionally – this one coencided with the steady flow of articles about M. Rieu my mother keeps supplying me with!

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