Coat of Glory

The coat is an absolute winner. This site proves that I am now officially Fashionable.

Last night, when I was striding about the neighbourhood, completely untouched by rain, cold and squalls, I looked down and noticed that the raindrops alighting on its black beauty looked like little sparkly jewels. Like a dark night lit by stars.

And yesterday arvo, when walking up Sydney Rd I was stopped by an appreciative fan.

“Beautiful!!” she cried. Then ran up and seized both my arms. “I love fur so much! You look gorgeous.” I thanked her delightedly, and in return got a torrent of invective against Brigitte Bardot.

“You know she used to be draped in furs in the old days – now she’s like those angry greenies,” she declared.

“Hypocrite!” I cried.

“I too have a lovely fox fur collar at home, but everyone tells me not to wear it, because those greenies, those vegan-things will come and throw paint at me!” Her grip was still tight.

“Bah, don’t get me started on vegans,” I spat. “And any vegan I’ve ever known lives purely on a diet of hot chips and self-righteousness. Idiots!”

She agreed heartily, and I advised her to wear her fox fur with pride. “Besides, they’re vermin in this country. They kill all the native wildlife and are good for nothing generally.”

“I love the fur!” she shouted, releasing me back into the wild.

Both immensely satisfied with each other, we parted ways.

9 thoughts on “Coat of Glory

  1. Now I’m imagining you running about the streets like that fierce (but surely retired!) cop in the link. Ready for action! 🙂 I’m ok with fox furs, being pests and all, but all others are out for me (not that I’ve had to turn down many offers of mink coats!). Especially worrisome is the use of cats and dogs – and of course they’re never labelled as such! Very sad. And they eat them in China too. People are now taking dogs to schools and hospitals in order to teach people to see them as ‘pets not food’. I’m guessing they’re not into Can I Has Cheezburger… well, not in the same way anyway. Stuff on My Cat might been more their scene… ie, noodles, soy sauce…

  2. OH MY GOD I MISS WINTER SO MUCH!!!(you must excuse my capitalising and exclamating – it is BLOODY FORTY DEGREES HERE. RIGHT. NOW. I wish i was that fox* fur right now)*melts**I thought i had read ‘faux’ fur at first, and was all ‘yeah! what’s wrong with that!’ but then realised my error… I have so much to learn before becoming a true fabulous minx as you are…

  3. EB – the wondrous coat stands at least a metre above my head and makes small people scatter at my step….or that is how I feel in it!!Lilly – ho ho! Give me those root veggies any day!! Jains are a bit thin on the ground over here, and vegans tend to be of the dredlocked, sniffy insane variety. You know when they see nothing wrong with raving on about cage eggs, pig farming, thy body is a temple etc, but every month or so ‘must’ go to Maccas, or take recreational drugs. No irony whatsoever!!VV – the Montreal weather is bizarre, yes? So you get positive and negative 40, yes? How do you cope??

  4. I had an argument with Susie the Vegan over my fox fur collar, which you may recall I had made for me out of the pelt of a feral fox that was shot as part of the Victorian Government’s War on Foxes (they were giving a bounty for each fox).I wore it one day when I knew she was going to be around – she reacted with shrieks of horror and much flailing of the hands. I pointed out that it was feral – would she rather it was still running around eating small native marsupials? No, she replied. Well then, I wanted to know, why should I not wear it – would it be better off in landfill? Yes, apparently.Fucking mad fucking hippies. What the fuck?

  5. PS I also have a vintage mink. And some Ermine neck pieces that have a whole heap of little tails hanging off them. And a full-length leather coat.And not one hippie has ever tried to lynch me while I’m wearing them. Must try harder.

  6. Not all Jains are vegans. I will eat dairy products under some conditions. If the cows/goats are well treated and not harmed and not killed and treated well after their milk producing days are over. In fact, it would be very cruel not to milk them, wouldn’t it? I never eat dairy products from the store. Usually if I eat them, I’ve milked the cow or goat myself.There are a few lonely Jains in Melbourne.I have learned that a potato has been developed especially for us that grows on a vine. I would like to try it. I have never tasted a potato. I want to try a french fry. Mai is here laughing at me.

  7. BBBJ et al,This is Mai. I want to add that Jains are strict like Khalsa about drugs and alcohol and other intoxicants. Jains may be insane, but they’re the least hypocritical people in the universe.(Not like hippies. Hippies also tend to be dirty and smell bad! And use musk oil.)

  8. Pah, Susie the mad Vegan. Pah! Lovely girl, ridiculous ideas!Lilly and Mai, you both make me chuckle inordinately. I now have an image of you both hovering over the computer giggling.I need to read the blog entry about Lilly trying her first french fry, from the vine.And I should never make wild accusations about Jains, a religion I know nothing about! As for mad hippies and vegans however, don’t get me ranting….!

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