When finding good headlines for articles, in desperation I often turn to bad puns and in-jokes most readers probably wouldn’t notice or appreciate. This amuses me for reasons I cannot explain.

Some examples include: ‘The Mother Lode’ (Mothers’ Day jewellery), ‘Half-Russian Heads all-Russian Program’ or ‘Very Slow Headbanging’ (Melbourne Symphony Orchestra) and ‘You’ll always have Paris – end of Collins St’ (real estate brochure). My best-ever effort was ‘Mock Cream of the Crop’ (breakout box about Renaissance-era cameo fakers, who used to insert the gem inside the crop of a hen to fake a patina of age). Did any of these get to print? Of course not.

99% of the time, the subbie will take great delight in chopping these up and replacing them with such tired offerings as ‘Marvellous Mothers’ Day’, ‘Hijacked and Helpless’ (that one made me bristle, I have never been helpless) and ‘Do-It-Yourself Glamour’. Ya-a-a-wwnn.

Today I find myself all at sea, yet again, when looking for names for an article about the hairstyles of yore. And when searching through the business names of hairdressers, what a plethora can be found!

Blade Runners Hair Studio
Grateful Head
Hair Majesty
Hair Me Out
Hair Today
Hannah & Her Scissors
Mane Attraction
Shear Delight Hair Studio
Snippety Crickets

I am spoilt for choice!! I also found this, a link to really bad British shop names. They are splendidly awful and worth a peek.

3 thoughts on “Punnage

  1. And did I ever tell you about the ad for an outdoors shop’s winter sale we saw in England, which startedNow is the winter of our discount tent…?

  2. BBBJ,My all-time favourite is an actual headline from the Las Vegas Times, about one gangster ratting out another:Culotta Turns On Spilatrobzvvcecn

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