This weekend I…*

-On Friday night, picked up a Rent-a-bomb and drove out to Avalon to meet my friend English Emma. Upon arrival at the ‘pikeyest airport in Victoria’, all my English-speak came flooding back: ‘minging’, ‘pants’, ‘fit’ and ‘the arch-enemy of pulling’.

-Checked in at la belle Travelodge and strolled out to Southbank for dishes of spiced lamb chops, silver beet and bacon. Yum! Long catch-up over wine.

-Next morning eggs benedict at Issus near Degraves St and more chatter.

-Ho for shopping in the city, where I bought a very nice top, another nice thingo that’s half jumper half cardie, a hat, a CD for Mum, a frame made from recycled wood, natural bush-scented incense and lambswool shoe inserts my god it’s only cups of water and dry bread for a while

-Then to the Island Day Spa for a ‘duo’ facial and massage. Is this not the girliest weekend ever? The whole thing happened to the soundtrack of ‘Girls Just Wanna Have Fun’.

-Rice noodles and spring rolls for dinner at Mekong in Swanston St.

-Over no less than three bottles of wine at the Long Room, we agreed upon the following facts:

-That the only person suitable to play Emma in the film version of my book about Singapore will be Lindsay Lohan.
-That despite the fact that my Singapore pals and I have absolutely zero in common with regards to clothes, music, movies and men, we are all smashingly good pals and generally all-round legends.
-That the standard Aussie snag is beef, and the British one, pork. Beef was declared ‘minging’.
-That ‘come to my discount pharmacy and I’ll get you cheap cosmetics’ is the Best Pickup Line Ever.
-That the best way to deter grotty chaps working the room in pairs is to pore eagerly over a very sparkly engagement ring. This will make them run, not walk in the opposite direction.
-That the Long Room has more than its fair share of wankers per square metre.

-When we finally staggered back to the hotel, I dimly recall us trying to place a phone call to Mexico, to call our friend Ivy. Fortunately we didn’t get through.

-Then the Blue Train café next morning for more eggs benedict. Hot chocolate with marshmallows. Secretly undid top button of pants.

-Emma had her palm read by a chap at the Southbank market. I sat in and listened eagerly.

-Lurched around the city for a while longer, then to Borders to pore over a palmistry book. Stridently agreed and disagreed with everything we read.

-Back on the freeway to the pikeyest mingingest airport in the world to drop off Emma.

-Back home, drank litres of watrer.

*idea blatantly ripped off from Andrea, many thanks!


3 thoughts on “This weekend I…*

  1. BBBJ,The Church Ladies at my husband’s church got together to give me a birthday present – a day at the spa. That was wonderful – the facial and pedicure, massage, hot tub, shampoo, conditioning – until they got to the cut and style. Will these biddies never give up? My hair – what hasn’t fallen out or broken off – is still intact, but my respect for the CLs has reached a new low.I think I need to go back and reread The Art of War. I WILL SURVIVE!! And not be so gullible.kfyzbb idfvk wdcyfqbp

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