I accidentally used your toothbrush, sorry about that. I am getting you a new one tomorrow at 7am.
When I had my shower this morning, a brand new toothbrush was sitting on top of the note. I ignored the girlfriend as I ate my brekky, and radiated waves of evil (as she sat in my chair, hogging my heater). I then went to brush my teeth, and looked at the toothbrush holder. My old toothbrush was still there, as well as the housemate’s. She must have chucked one away, and has been using mine all along!! Yuk! Yuk!! Yuk!!!!!!!
As I swept wrathfully out of the house, the housemate was sitting out the front, on a Landmark call, telling somebody how they should be living their life. “Make a list!” she was saying brightly. “Write down everything that’s not going well in your life, and take charge!”
These arseholes gotta go, man.
(counts to ten)
(looks on bright side)
(I have a new toothbrush)