I’ve got two women in my house that I loathe. They sit in the front room and plot my untimely demise. I’ve been given nasty ultimatums via text and asked to pay them to leave. Despite all of this, they believe I am ‘hostile’ and ‘childish’. I’ve been swimming in a sea of bitter bile all week.
So I had a revelation this morning.
All of this is surely not good for me. If I don’t stop hating this housemate, it’s probably going to kill me. I decided to cut short all of this nonsense this morning. Calm ensued. I think I am going to have to feel sorry for her.
I first thought about the passive resistance route of Ghandi. Whack on a loincloth and be of good cheer. I love the little bloke (have visited not one but two of his houses in Gujarat, and received a long earful about his wonders from a security guard in Johannesburg – useless biographical fact #1000 on this site) and admire what he did. But I admit I am more of a fighting woman. People who cross my line generally regret it, and my loose lips have sunk many ships. Sometimes this works, sometimes it doesn’t.
What about Sun Tzu? ‘The Art of War’ – now that’s more my thing!
‘Supreme excellence consists in breaking the enemy’s resistance without fighting.’
‘If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.’
‘The clever combatant imposes his will on the enemy, but does not allow the enemy’s will to be imposed on him.’
But life is not a goddamn warzone all the time. Even in Baghdad they take time out to gorge on delicious pizza snacks every now and again.
Then I turned to the Dalai. He’s not only alive and well, but reincarnated with regularity. I think he said something about it: ‘be compassionate towards your enemies’. Did he say enemies? I’m sure he’d say something polite like ‘people with views slightly different than others’.
This sheila I live with is a bit of a fucking nutter. Despite the thousands of dollars she’s spent on self-improvement and communication courses over the years, it’s clearly come to nothing. This morning it was obvious she wasn’t coping. Her girlfriend’s parents won’t let her in their house (where the GF lives when she’s not at my house), and I certainly don’t want to live with her. She must feel backed into a tight corner. (diddums!)
So! With respect to the above, I made the following list, which I will repeat like a mantra for the next month:
1. I have a moving out date from her, which is in a month.
2. I am much better educated about the methods of Landmark.
3. I have lined up another housemate who seems very delightful.
4. The metre high papier mâché teddy bear in the hallway will be gone for good.
And after all the stress, I think I’ve lost about a kilo, which is also surely a happy event.