So I’ve been holed up in an advertising agency all week in Richmond. As I’ve been working in the CD’s office, along with the senior copywriter, have been privy to all sorts of amusing conversations, brainstorming meetings, crises, whispered gossip and outright sledging. How was I supposed to get a minute of work done, I asks you??
There is a giant boxer dog that greets you when you walk in, as well as one of those tiny fluffy toilet roll cover dogs. These two mooch around all day, checking out the lay of the land. This mob is also COMPLETE ALCOHOLICS and start drinking at about 3pm ON A MONDAY, and as it’s Friday now I find I’m in need of a bit of a detox.
Anyway, so I’ve had to travel on public transport a lot more than usual, and have been enjoying reading the wonderful MX. My favourite part of this quality read is not the tonnes of rubbish left behind on trains and stations every day, not the excellent journalism to be found therin (one section is called something like ‘boring but neccessary’ – it’s the actual news bit), but the sight of dozens of people buried deep within its covers, brows furrowed, riffling it importantly and concentrating hard, AS THOUGH THEY WERE READING A REAL NEWSPAPER.
The letters page is always a guaranteed winner, and yesterday it directed me to this:
Where you can basically whinge about what a crap public transport service we’re getting in Victoria. At last, an outlet!! Over the past 2 weeks the following events have occurred:
1. On the Upfield line, was surrounded by some spaced-out people breathing deeply into plastic bags and stinking of Posca pens. Such is my knowledge of the real world, I thought for a minute one was having an athsma attack and breathing into a bag. When I realised what was going on and looked up to give them a blast, I caught the sinister, crazed experession on all their faces and hastily moved up the train. Everyone else was quite freaked out too.
2. Going past Jewell station, someone chucked a rock through the train window not so far from my head. With glass everywhere, it was amazing that no-one was injured. Everyone on board agreed that the Connex employees wouldn’t be in the slightest bit interested in knowing about this, as we’d all had issues with staff before. When I reported this at Flinders St, the guy said ‘oh yeah. Which line? Oh.’ And kept checking tickets.
3. At Flinders St, again, there was a small explosion by the door, WITH SPARKS. The power went down in the train, and everyone was locked in. No explanation from staff. A few moments later, the power came up and the train headed off INTO THE LOOP. Like, underground. This happened again TWICE, again, no explanation.
Wah lau, eh. I’m actually building up an article idea about how public transport is far more efficient in the third world than anything we could do in Melbourne. Like, there’s something along every 5 minutes, even if it’s a bloke on a donkey. And it costs about 7 cents to get around town, and everyone’s really friendly and if there’s no room you can sit on people’s laps. Something like that.