Boy am I tempted. I spent all yesterday vacillating over the enticing image of having a regular job, with workmates, regular pay and a big Christmas party at the end of the year with the opportunity to get squiffy with Shane from accounts. So I drew up a list of the pros and cons, despite all my gut feelings screaming ‘nay’:
1. Despite the fact that publishing is a thankless, bitchy industry with low pay and hair-trigger sackings, people somehow think you’ve somehow ‘made it’ in a glamorous profession. Katharine Hepburn and her cinematic ilk have a lot to answer for. However, this fact might go down well at parties.
2. Women’s quarterly? I might get free stuff. Like perfumes and spa weekends away.
3. Colleagues. A bunch of bitchy, Gen Y staff with a steely resolve to claw their way over my prostrate body to the top might be better than what I have now, which is no colleagues (except for the voices in my head and the less we say about them the better).
4. Would get to shop for work clothes and prance around in short skirts all day.
5. Would get to sit on the Internet all day, playing games.
6. Superannuation paid speedily into account, all tax and HECS taken care of. Not an exciting reason, but it’s a reason nonetheless.
7. Long work lunches with aforementioned inebriated bitches.
1. Only 4 weeks holiday a year, maybe less. Dictated by an iron-clad editorial calendar. Even though I’ll be getting less holiday than that over this year and the next (unpaid, naturally), it’s the idea of it.
2. Magazine staff is populated by women, and women only. The only time you’d catch a whiff of a fella would be when the motorbike courier comes in with the paper samples. Or someone’s husband calls up asking what he should get for tea. Despite my new resolution to embrace the spinsterhood, this is not quite what I had in mind.
3. Based on what I know of editors, I am about 10 years too old for the job. Seriously.
4. Would get to sit on the Internet all day, playing games.
5. I could kiss goodbye any aspirations to getting any short stories/books published. Ditto printmaking classes, life drawing classes, any extra-curricular activities for the foreseeable future.
6. Could kiss goodbye any plans to spend 3 months out of every year travelling around West and Central Africa.
7. Low pay – could kiss goodbye any plans to own any real estate.
8. Women’s quarterly? Would I start raving on about Lindsay Lohan all day, g-strings, recipes for low-fat jam, chick lit, exotic weekends in Broome and natural remedies for cystitis? Would I have to hotly defend my choice of profession at said parties? Well no change here – I’ve always done that.
9. Would I be forced to commission illustrators only capable of drawing long skinny stylised women with superior expressions wearing capri pants and heels? And pay them?
10. Would I be forced to wear stilettos all day, like in The Devil Wears Prada?
11. Would I still have time to write this rubbishy blog?
Hm. As uncertain as my current direction is, I think I’ll stick with it for the time being.