Is it too early to do the yearly wrap-up? Ah well. I never claimed to have any cred, unlike the quality blogs of our beloved broadsheet. Love them all. Particularly you, Samantha Brett. You of the rapier wit, relevance to womankind and natural rapport with the camera, you are my favourite.
I thought it had been a bit of a quiet year, until I leafed through my little green diary and had a chuckle.
1. Started a blog! After a few months’ misguided effort at posting my West Africa travels online I realised that blogs are only for self-indulgent guff and the contents of the scum that floats around on the top of your brain. Now I can boast at least 15 readers a day, sometimes as many as 20. Success! Although many people are apparently searching for topics as diverse as ‘nudies’ and ‘skirts blowing in the wind’ and ‘galloping bollocks’ and may have been a tad disappointed.
2. Started a new business! Who would have thought a government scheme could be so successful? Despite some of the weirdos in my NEIS course, teething problems with a home office, and starting off with only one client, things are now looking OK! For the next few years, I plan to spend all my newfound cash on oysters, iPods, winkle-pickers, things made from Bakelite, large bouquets of flowers and printmaking courses. Watch this space.
3. Started writing short stories! Nothing published yet. A long way to go on this one.
4. Was on telly! I still get the most random people coming up and telling me they saw me. Also got through the audition for a new Channel 7 show, but haven’t been called back yet. Friends are still asking me to go on Family Feud or Big Brother. Tchuh! If it’s trivia, then it’s OK, people. Anything else is just tacky.
5. Featured artwork in no less than two group exhibitions! The first one, Electro Plastic, was a Lomo show at the new coolsie venue for 2006, Horse Bazaar. The second was a life drawing show at the BBI. Plans are afoot to have my own mini Lomo show at the Brunswick Arts Space. How trendy am I?
6. Left the suburbs!This year I went to Sydney for my sister’s last graduation ever! We saw her interview a Nobel Prize winner on stage, heard Ian Frazer talk (phwawawawww) and Dad and I were mocked for singing the national anthem.
I also went to the city of excitement, Wonthaggi, to see my old neighbour. I had cracked the shits at the entire universe and stumped off to the country. Wonthaggi was everything I thought it would be.
7. Hobnobbed! My old pal Bobby ‘Cassidy’ Duchovny shouted me a ticket to see Nancy Cartwright, the voice of Bart Simpson. She was great, but the highlight of the evening was when the Bob actually got to meet her on stage, after winning her Simpsons quiz. The look on his face was fantastic.
I saw Tom Burlinson put on his best Frank Sinatra at the Palms at Crown. Best. Venue. Ever. After promising her it would be crap, Ms Matisse and I got wickedly shickered on wine served in a bucket, and wound up tearfully singing along by the end.
I met Richard E. Grant. Still haven’t washed right shoulder. Enough said.
8. Saw ships in the harbour! There’s nothing more fun than going down to the docks, clambering aboard a replica tub with 8000 bogans and shouting ‘ahoy me hearties’ from the poop deck. Ships included the Endeavour and the Duyfken. I’m not sad enough to go down to see the cruise ships yet, but the year is still young…
9. Made a new friend! Don’t laugh. When you work from home, it’s kind of hard to meet new people. My new chum A-Zee is an A-merikan who has lived here many years, enjoys expensive cocktails, has a cat named after Bootsy Collins, and enough tales and anecdotes to fill a book. She is very amusing.
10. Joined the Brunswick Historical Society! Haven’t returned yet, as am still worried I’ll get a tongue-lashing from mad Francesca. I’ve had offers from many people to join me to form a human shield, so maybe a project for next year…
11. Tried internet dating! FELLAHS – THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES
12. Got a new housemate! I successfully advertised for, and found, a most entertaining woman who is never home! She cooks, she cleans, she strums her guitar, she tells me her gossip – then racks off again. Domestic bliss!
Stay tuned for the next breathtaking installment – Boo’s New Year’s resolutions.